GUEST BLOGGER for G&E Productions
Click HERE, then scroll for my article
"Mr. Corman" is My New Favorite Teacher
Point blank, I don’t think enough people are talking about Mr. Corman. At least not the people I know. Maybe I should know new people. Kidding! Maybe I should get the people I know to watch Mr. Corman. Absolutely! So, here’s why.
Goodbye Red Microsuede Couch
And, yes, please sing that to the tune of Elton John’s Goodbye Yellow Brick Road. I know a thing is just a thing as they say but what happens (wha happen? A nod to one of my favorite Fred Willard characters) when that “thing” has been with you longer than your boyfriend, dog or plantar’s wort?
While many people are quick to go out and buy the newest things, I pride myself on holding onto something as long as possible and maintaining it as best as I can. Perhaps it’s my attempt at being eco-friendly, nostalgic or just plain cheap. My autumn bronze pearl Infiniti G20t is of legal drinking age (Trixie is 21), my green monogrammed “brooke” bag with polka dot ribbons on the handles is 35 years old and my red microsuede sofa sleeper was 18 years old...WAS.
My Top 10 Favorite Sources of Protein (that aren't chicken)
Protein. It makes the world go ‘round. Doesn’t it? When people ask me about my quest for better health, more energy and improved mood and how I consequently lost 100 pounds and kept it off, 30 of those pounds being during the 2020 quarantine, I tell them it’s because I focus on protein from a variety of sources that aren’t reliant on red meat and high fat. (Sorry Dr. Atkins and Dr. Keto, but there can be too much of a good thing.) It’s a no brainer (and a no bawker - chickens bawk, yeah?) that chicken is a great source of lean protein. And, I’m not knocking chicken, but there are only so many boneless skinless breasts I can look at in a day. (Hey, I’m not a plastic surgeon and I can assume neither are you.)
How to do VOICEOVERS AT HOME : The ONLY Guide You will EVER NEED
Let’s assume you’ve already sat through hours of tutorials on why a USB mic isn’t ideal for professional voiceovers, how to get set up with Source Connect and what you should be drinking for your best vocal health (hint, it ain’t cow’s milk.)
And, now you need some handy dandy tools on how to be most productive / handle all the performance crushing stuff while you’re speaking your sexy voice out in your voiceover studio or, if you’re me, your tiny padded closet.
My Momma, The Self Tape Queen
With self tapes, my Type A self becomes Type A Plus - a neurotic actor, DP, director and stage manager all rolled into one who barks orders at my momma like she’s a dutiful unpaid PA “doing this for copy and credit” who’s also supposed to read my mind. Momma will only take my ridiculousness to a certain extent. So, during every self tape escapade, we do the dance of Momma saying “stop taking this sh*t so seriously, baby!” and me ever so dramatically catting back, “Momma, I have to take this sh*t seriously. This. Is. A. Business!!!”
We don't get SAD in Louisiana, We get MARDI GRAS
Living in Louisiana from December to March (depending on when Mardi Gras falls) is like being at a super Bridezilla fabulous wedding and going from cocktail hour (Christmas and New Year’s) to the grand ballroom dinner and then dance party. So, that’s why I was shocked when I moved up to Long Island, then Brooklyn and now New Jersey to learn that people experience SAD: Seasonal Affective Disorder. It wasn’t until I first experienced it myself that I realized why people had “light therapy” on their Christmas and Hanukkah gift wish lists. We don’t get SAD in south Louisiana. We get Mardi Gras…
JUST DON'T
Photo taken at Duke Farms, NJ
When the pandemic hit, I didn’t stop DO-ing. I didn’t jump on the Netflix binge wagon in March or April or May. I stayed in my pajamas or athleisure or an extra sexy flattering combo of both but I had a schedule and structure, or at least what I thought was consistency, schedule and structure. The only thing I was consistent about was taking ample time throughout the day to beat myself up for how unproductive I was.
Cajun Christmas "Cookies" ?!?!?!?!?!
As a kid, I always dreamed of having a White Christmas and getting to bake from scratch then decorate those traditional cookie cutter Christmas cookies. I always wanted to make tons of different types of traditional Christmas cookies - from gingerbread to sugar - cut out with intricate cookie cutters, iced and decorated beautifully. Visions of presenting friends with a beautiful array of the most colorful cookies they had ever imagined danced in my head. The kind of cookies you see on the December cover of Martha Stewart Living magazine. But, when you’re from south Louisiana and you’re half Cajun and your momma is 110% Rajun Cajun, you don’t get “WASP cookies”. You get this…
Maw Maw Leona & The Calligraphy Pens
“Over the river and through the woods, to grandmother’s house we go…”
Except for me, it was more like “we’re on the same side of the Mississippi River and just driving through the suburbs of Baton Rouge, to Maw Maw and Poppee's house we go…it’s only a ten minute drive. Can we stop at the snow-ball stand on the way, Momma?”
Going to my Maw Maw Leona and Poppee Earl’s house was almost like going to work at my own artist’s studio.
REASONS TO CREATE : How to define success YOUR way
How do you MEASURE your success?
Did Google, Photoshop or Q-Tip set out to “be a household name” or “something that people will use as a verb/noun in every day speech?” Did they say, “We’re going to be so big that people will use us instead of “search the internet”, “make ourselves look better in photos” or “something with which to dig in one’s ears?” Doubtful.
Harry told me something pretty enlightening with his bald headed mystical Libra self, “Why not just measure your success in just creating something from start to finish.” And, you know, as a gal who tends to beat herself up a LOT for never being perfect and who simultaneously beats herself up about having to get the word out there in the RIGHT way but NOT being annoying, that advice really resonated with her (or, me, rather.)
CLASS ACTION PARK : HOOVER STYLE
I never went to Action Park because I didn’t live in New Jersey but if I did, would I have been bad-ass enough to go?
My Momma forbade me from going to water parks because they were mostly “death traps” and heck, I never even went to summer camp because I was too afraid to sleep away from home. (Even day camp terrified me because I’d rather be home watching “David the Gnome” and doing mystical mermaid dancing in the living room than sharing Hi-C juice boxes with the other children.)
I didn’t need water parks or summer camp because my momma and dad were able to create summer experiences for me that were just as gnarly, totally tubular and rad and arguably maybe even more gnarly, rad and bad-ass than Action Park and any summer camp experience combined.
LIFE LESSONS FROM DOWN DOGS AND RESCUE DOGS
When the yoga teacher told me, “Stand up. I’ve got to fix your yoga mat. It’s annoying me like crazy”, I told myself it was finally time to throw the towel in (even if it was complimentary and smelled like lemongrass essential oil).
IF OTHER PROFESSIONS DID SOCIAL MEDIA LIKE ACTORS
As actors, we run a fine line between being self involved and self deprecating and we dance on that fine line through our social media posts. What if other professions posted like actors? In this case…LAWYERS
What's the SEXIEST Thing You've Ever Done?
“What’s the sexiest thing you’ve ever done?” My friend Steven asks my boyfriend Harry at one of our little BBQ’s recently, out of the blue. Harry turns to look at me like a deer in headlights and I cackle like a hyena. Harry responds, “Huh, huh, I’m not sure.”
GAS STATION CORNBREAD
For the past three or four years, I’ve been on a pretty intense health regime not only to keep my second boob fat at bay (some ladies have a muffin top, I have second boob fat. Look it up, it’s a medical phenomenon I’m sure) but mainly because I’ve realized dairy, gluten and sugar make me a mean, hormonal sassy bitch who wants to throw heavy objects. Therefore, what I eat in a day usually consists of kale, onions, peppers, black beans, egg whites, walnuts, salmon (wild caught of course) and tree bark. But, there are a few things that I will beast on guilt free. I don’t even call them cheat days. I hate that term. What am I cheating on? A test? My boyfriend? My fucked up crazy diet? Why should we feel guilty about what we eat? If your body is like mine, which it probably isn’t, it will make you pay for those crap-ass foods later anyways. So, enjoy them full throttle in the moment. The things I enjoy full throttle (yes, let’s make “full throttle” a thing) are delicacies from my motherland of the Dirty South including but not limited to cobbler, doberge cake and cornbread.
DON'T QUIT YOUR DAY JOB : An Actor talks about Fellow Actor Geoffrey Owens and his (former) Day Job
I have been itching to write about this for a while. But, alas, I let “day job” things get in the way. I guess I’m just keeping to the theme. Let’s talk about actor Geoffrey Owens. You all still remember the FOX news article. If not, I will post it right here…
MY SHY DOG
My shy dog won’t come up to you and give you instant approval. That doesn’t mean she’s not like a regular dog. My shy dog isn’t like a regular dog. My shy dog wants me to let you know there’s nothing wrong with her just because she’s shy. My shy dog speaks in a raspy voice. Of course.
Royal Wedding Thoughts and Feel
I didn't set my alarm for 5:00 on 19 May 2018 like many Royal Wedding fanatics because this girl needed her beauty sleep. (Note, I'm now going to start writing all dates Euro style to really confuse the Yanks. I did it like that for a few months in high school and it really did my teachers proud, I'd like to think). Perhaps because I didn't watch the wedding live, I now find myself in a rabbit hole of news, news and even fake news. I am searching like hell for pictures of the after after party which my Momma says I will NOT find.
Driving Miss Drew Barrymore
I had a dream I was driving Drew Barrymore around town. And, no I wasn’t an Uber or Lyft driver or even a Shyft* driver (*shameless plug for our comedic short film. Check out more about it here.) Nope, I was a “picture car driver” which, in the movie biz basically means you’re an extra...and so is your car. Though, please don’t tell my eighteen year old autumn bronze pearl Infiniti G20t Trixie that she was an extra. She’s only meant for true stardom.