Let’s assume you’ve already sat through hours of tutorials on why a USB mic isn’t ideal for professional voiceovers, how to get set up with Source Connect and what you should be drinking for your best vocal health (hint, it ain’t cow’s milk.)
And, now you need some handy dandy tools on how to be most productive / handle all the performance crushing stuff while you’re speaking your sexy voice out in your voiceover studio or, if you’re me, your tiny padded closet.
(1) If you have pets, hire a pet sitter. It will save you time learning that entertaining a hefty food driven Pomeranian with a peanut butter (sans xylitol, of course) frozen Kong does not make for a noise free situation.
(2) In passing, let your neighbor know you’ll be doing voiceover work from home then (a) hope they find it cool enough to spark their attention (b) if (a) then let them know how you love and need the quiet and how your mic can pick up literally everything. If you’re under 35, then really enunciate “literally”. (C) If neither (a) nor (b) try passive aggressively asking them if they could please find a better time to hammer their vision board to their bedroom ceiling or to hold the work for “just a few minutes” (Which, in voiceover booth time is really enough to get one book chapter complete.)
(3) If you have roommates, hope that they’re cool enough to be Full House fans and tell them this is like the episode where Uncle Jesse gets the recording studio in the basement and him and Joey are doing a radio show and they put up the light switch in the kitchen to let DJ, Stephanie and the twins (both sets) know they need to keep quiet when the recording light is on.
(4) Oh, but first, invest in one of those recording lights but only after you quadruple check that it won’t create a humming noise.
(5) If you have children, refer to #1 (Hey, parents of human children, relax and take it as a compliment, my dogs are my children.)
(6) Thank the Universe for spring and the lovely birds chirping then go outside and get Steel Magnolias on those magpies.
(7) If you didn’t get the Steel Magnolias reference above, go watch it while you wait out the annoying sound that’s wrecking your recording time.
(8) If you hear a buzzing, assume it is NOT a bumble bee. If it is a bumble bee, report that lil guy to BumbleBeeWatch.org Unplug every single thing in your home. If you still hear a buzzing noise, which you probably will if you live in the New York Tri-state area, pray your neighbor has to go to rehab for a few months because it’s probably coming from their circa 1997 television (with Judge Judy reruns on repeat.)
(9) Promise every neighbor’s lawn boy you’ll “take them inside your voiceover booth” (wink wink) if they hold the work
(10) Actually, don’t do the above. I don’t condone that kind of behavior. It’s just the insanity of not being able to record when I’m in prime voiceover performance mode and not being able to control it on top of it all that’s getting to me.
(11) Be open to the fact that your mic just might be a portal. (READ MORE ON PORTALS HERE) Keep sage, holy water and/or rose quartz nearby. I sure do.
(12) Put a “keep calm and record on” sign in your voiceover space. It’s motivational, positive and also a coping mechanism: keep several on hand so you can rip it up in frustration at the uncontrollable noise and also at the overrated use of the whole “keep calm...” thing
(13) Now that you’ve gotten the weird humming noises, the annoying pounding noises and the uncontrollable neighbor noises under control, suck it up and call the plumber to fix that drip in the sink. Be prepared to pay extra for an emergency call. Tell yourself next time you won’t put off “little things” anymore because as we’re learning, in recording voiceover, especially from home, the little things are the big things.